so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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