Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
