I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
