1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
