my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
