Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
