This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
