it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize