you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
