Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
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