All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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