if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
