allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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