I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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