Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
