David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
