I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
