I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
