this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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