I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
