im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
