apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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