champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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