i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
