im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
