He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
