U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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