Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.

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(317): View more from Indiana

update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.

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(334): View more from Alabama

A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.

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(905): View more from Ontario

It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on

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(408): View more from California

Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.

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(813): View more from Florida

Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?

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