Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and she was petting her beer can
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
