i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
