your thong is hanging out like whoa
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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