just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
