i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
