Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
