I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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