Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
