just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
