It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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