speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
