i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
