what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize