If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
