Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
