I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
