look no pants
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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