Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
