i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize