He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
