So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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