guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
