is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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