Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
