How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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