Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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