Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
