drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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