all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
where are you?
Hypothermia
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
