you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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