Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
