I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
